Tom Lehrer - N Apostrophe T Lyrics

Scene:
Outside the cave of a very grouchy hermit H.
A very sweet child C coming along

C: Isn't it a lovely day?
H: No, it isn't!
C: Could you come outside and play?
H: No, I couldn't!
C: Did you ever take a hike?
H: No, I didn't!
H: How'd you like to ride my bike?
H: Frankly, I wouldn't!
C: Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't
Is that all you can say?
H: Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't - Yes, now go away
The sweetest sound to me
It stands for "not"
I like it a lot
It's spelled "n"-apostrophe-"t"

C: Have you ever tried to smile?
H: No, I haven't!
C: Won't you try it for a while?
H: No, I won't!
C: Are there games to play in there?
H: No, there aren't!
C: Then why d'you like to stay in there?
H: Frankly, I don't!

C: Haven't, won't, aren't, don't
Is that all you can say?
H: Haven't, won't, aren't, don't - And I said: "Go away:"
Grouches all agree
We get a glow
From saying "no"
With "n"-apostrophe-"t"
C: Do you talk to anyone?
H: (wistfully) No, I don't!
C: Come on out and have some fun
H: (hesitantly) No, I couldn't!
C: Can't you even tell me why?
H: (apologetically) No, I can't!
C: Will it kill you just to try?
H: (wanting to) Well, I shouldn't...

C: Don't, couldn't, can't, shouldn't
Now, try it once my way
C: Do?
H: Do...
C: Could?
H: Could...
C: Can?
H: Can...
C: Should
H: Should! Hey, that feels okay!

C: So come along with me...
H: I'll give it a try
And say goodbye
To "n"-apostrophe
C: "N"-apostrophe
C+H:"N"-apostrophe-"t"!
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